Description is imagery that brings to life all the five senses…
- things you see
- things you hear
- things you smell
- things you touch
- things you taste
Description uses figurative language…
- simile
- metaphor
- personification
- connotative language
- onomatopoeia
Compare the following examples:
Tell-me writing = The air conditioner in the motel room window was old, dirty, and somewhat noisy.
Show-me writing = The air conditioning unit in the motel room had a final fraction of its name left, an “aire” in silver plastic, so loose that when it resonated to the coughing thud of the compressor, it would blur. A rusty water stain on the green wall under the unit was shaped like the bottom half of Texas. From the stained grid, the air conditioner exhaled its stale and icy breath into the room, redolent of chemicals and of someone burning garbage far, far away.
Exercise - answer the following questions based on the "Show-me" example above:
- What is the brand of air conditioner?
- What kinds of problems does it have?
- What senses are used in the description?
- What figurative language is used?
- How would you describe the location of the motel?
- Based on the description of the air conditioner, would you be able to describe the shower? What would it look like?
Lesson: Creating a real environment that the reader can experience almost as if he or she is there makes writing believable. Placing characters in believable settings makes the characters themselves real, believable, and interesting.
Example: Here’s another show-me description of a setting:
From the essay “Dorm Room” by Rachel Kaplan
My dorm room is a bouquet. The florist has thrown it all in – the wild blues of laundry, the splashy orange of notebooks, the dry green of telephone lines. The fragrance lures the in from the hallway – the rich, delicate rendering of my roommate’s boyfriend’s cheap cologne, the slice of pepperoni pizza she saved from lunch, my Jergens skin cream…
Your Task (post by 10/13)
Write a 500-word very short story that incorporates the tools and techniques you have worked on in these setting. The story should use setting as its major component to create and define a character (or characters) while evoking a sense of emotion and atmosphere. You might also consider using descriptive elements from the “faraway place” you have researched.
When you're finished, post it on your blog by Friday, 10/13 for evaluation. This assignment counts as the "setting" component of your Short Fiction Unit Portfolio.
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